this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
