I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
