11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
