we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
