something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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