but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
