wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
