This house was built for laser tag.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
