he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Be still, my beating vagina.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Randomize
