As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
