i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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