Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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