Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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