If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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