dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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