I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
