So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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