dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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