Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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