If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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