If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
