it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
