I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
