I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
