we're blogging at a bar
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
