Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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