Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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