i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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