i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
