I CAN MOONWALK!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
