She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
