Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
