I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
