I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My vagina is officially offended.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
