its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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