The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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