Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
