I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
