the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
