I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
