one might say we're banned from that church
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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