He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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