You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
