is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
