I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
