Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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