How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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