dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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