Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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