reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
