The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
