dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
